I am a fucking pathetic, fucking-cunt zero. Sunday I went and saw the Australian Chamber Orchestra for which I have a yearly subscription. They played with the awesome Finish violinist Pekka Kuusisto and knocked out some fun Bach tunes along with some Finnish classical folk music.
During a rather quick section, where the violinist and violist were pulling and pushing the bows very quickly I thought how the technique of one particular player would lend itself to the giving of a great handjob. Fucking ridiculously shameful.
It just popped into my mind but I then found myself analyzing the grip and velocity of each of the players bow work, thinking, "that one would be better than that one. Oh, he is quick...". I didn't want to think these thoughts. I didn't plan it. I didn't find it erotic. But that was the connection my mind made - from Bach's Violin Concerto No. 2 in E to Nat's Organ Sonata in HJ. I had to really concentrate and focus to get back to thinking about the music. I'm sorry ACO.